A Child's Heart

I have been reminded of the sincerity of a child's heart.  A child willingly gives without much thought of the cost.  And, not even with a true understanding of the meaning of giving.  A child's motives are often altruistic.  How can a grown person grow and keep an altruistic mindset?

In the picture above, a five year old boy in our little neighbourhood started a food drive.  His goal was to raise 100 pounds of food for the local food bank.  His deadline was Dec 5th.  What you need to know is that the local fire fighters came to Michael's house with sirens blaring in two fire engines and collected Michael's "winnings".  Close to 250 lbs of food.  The community supported this most noble of endeavours, and for a little while, we were joined in heart to help Michael meet his goal.

The Christmas season is filled with the warm thoughts of reunions, gatherings, delicious foods and treats, giving and receiving.  Yet, will we take the time to evaluate our hearts?  Why are we giving?  Why are we gathering?  Why are we receiving?  In my mind's eye, I have come to realize that my celebrating, giving and receiving can only be soul deep when it is wrapped in the significance of God's love.  Love demonstrated in the giving of His only Son (John 3:16).  Having received this, I lack nothing more.

For God so loved the world 

that He gave His only Son, 

so that whoever believes in Him 

shall not perish

but have 

eternal

life.

Have you received?  If not, when?

Merry Christmas, dear friends.

A New Day

. . . the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me —Galatians 2:20

Praise God!  He did not give up on me.
And Praise God!  His faithful children prayed for me.
And again Praise God!  I can commit my loved ones to Him and together we pray for God's work to be done.

My pastor said that many will prefer to be able to buy a ticket into heaven.  He suggested perhaps $500 per soul, and many will rush to get one.  An insurance into heaven, if it exists...if there's life after this one.

I am thankful Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life.  I am grateful salvation is a gift from God, through no works of my own but by the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross.  I am blessed to be forgiven of all my sins.

I cannot afford $500.  I would not know how to keep my ticket so as not to lose it.  I would never stop wondering if I've been tricked.  And, how would I really know that the ticket does not have an expiration date.

I would rather rest in the assurance of His Word, His Work and His everlasting love.  The psalmist said, "His love endures forever."  Besides, so many before me have given their lives for the church.  A song Steve Green sang said, "The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church."  Praise God there is proof that the "ticket" I have is perfect!

Send me your prayer request.  I will pray.

Sinner saved by grace,
Angelina

Prodigal Daughter

Today, I quietened and listened.  I heard my heart and found a yearning for the voice and presence of God.  I found forgiveness and acceptance.  This reconnection filled me from the inside to overflowing.  I felt peace.  I felt loved.

I am "once lost but now I'm found" personified at this moment.  Ah, grace.  A beautiful gift.

Change my heart, O God.  Make it ever true.  Change my heart, O God.  May I be like You.

You are the Potter, I am the clay.  Make me and mold me.  This is what I pray.

By E. Espinosa

The Way Back

Lately, I've been thinking about how I arrived here and the places I have been to.  I sense a slow yearning to return to where I came from.  I wonder if the the old adage, "You can never go home", is true for everyone...if it's true for me.

It has been 10 long years since I've left.  I reminisce friends and places from that time.  Slowly, I am reconnecting socially, their faces have changed but their smiles are ever more warming and welcoming.  I wonder  about the secret to their happiness.  Do I possess it also?

While I think about going to where they are, I loathe to leave the place I now call home.  My loved ones are dear to me, and I would not dream of leaving.  You see, in my absence, I've found love in two individuals who are a  part of me now.  We are joined in heart, soul, mind and spirit.  To go back is to leave a larger part of me.

What is the way back?

Diva Mama

A generous, kind hearted stranger gave me a 40 plus year old piano a few weeks ago.  Good friends and my sweetheart rented a U-Haul and moved it into my living room.  A piano technician came to tune my piano and replaced the felt for the keyboard at no charge.  Alas, there is music in my home.

My home, before the arrival of the piano, was already "home sweet home".  Music has added more warmth, soul, love and happiness.  It has been so long since my fingers have touched the ivory.  

Tom, thank you for this gracious gift.  I hope that wherever your adventures take you, God will bless you with rich blessings in return.  

Have you blessed someone today?  Do you know the kind of difference it can make?

When You Have Good Neighbours....

I am blessed with wonderful neighbours.  This makes for an even greater feeling of "home" in a new community.  My family and I are alone in our neck of the woods, and were it not for our super terrific neighbours, we would not be as happy.

We exchange babysitting, laughs, goodies, and celebrate the holidays with zing!  There's always a meaningful "hello" back and forth, and the smiles are just heartwarming.

Neighbours, you know who you are!  Thank you for bringing sunshine into our neighbourhood, and if I have not said it already, your kids are just as awesome as you are!  Hugs.

Do you have a special neighbour you should be thankful for?  Do they know it?

First Day @ School

It is my son's first day at school.  Last night, I got his outfit ready, packed his bag, and got the stroller out for a younger child.  I planned out how much time we would need to get him to school on time, with 15 minutes to spare.  The day before, we reminded him that he would be going to school the next day.

When we woke up, we went downstairs for breakfast, to make sure he gets his daily vitamin and milk.  He did not eat very much of his breakfast and this added to the anxiety that was building in my stomach!

I allowed the boys to get some fresh air outside while I calmed down.  Then, after checking that I've got everything the three of us needed, we walked to school.

It was a cool morning and the boys were both in good spirits.  A teacher greeted us.  We went further down the hall to our new class and greeted his teacher, Ms. Rachel.  I was not more than 3 minutes in his class when he gave me a hug and a big kiss, and waved goodbye.  Not a single tear drop or frown on his face.  I don't know whether to be glad or sad.  The first day of school was harder for me than it was for him.

What's next?!  I think these little milestones our children achieve are parents' lessons for letting go.  Dear God, please look after my baby!

Babysitting

Life often presents us with new opportunities.  Once upon a time, I would never have ventured to call myself a babysitter.  Not even as a teenager did I think of myself as one.  Yet, today, I take pride in offering warmth, kindness and consistency to the children who enter my home.

My son is the reason I took on this new adventure.  I enjoy the company of the children, each one with his/her own personality, preferences and character.  We spend our time together making sure that we are well fed, reasonably clean, rested, exercised, and heard.  We brush our teeth, go for walks, read, colour and make crafts together.  For a few hours in the day, we form our own kind of family.

Are you a babysitter?  If so, take this opportunity to influence a young mind.  You may have only a short time to build him/her up, and then leave her to reap from what you have modeled.

Keep on, Babysitter!

A Goodbye Kiss to Grannie

Pippi Longstocking's House, Sweden (1920s)


She was 96 years young, our matriarch, and we owe much of ourselves to her.  She was kind, caring and loving no matter what condition her health was in.  And, she lived a Godly life.

We will miss her.  In our own ways, according to how we have known her, we will grieve her passing.  Yet, I have every confidence that when we meet together to remember, we will celebrate her life.  We will recall the stories she told to her children and her children's children.  We will reminisce stories of old Sweden and the long passage to Canada.  We will re-tell her new life in a new country, of farm country and hard lived days.  Then, we will re-live, in the spirit of love and admiration, the days children remembers of Mother.

As for me, I will give thanks for the gift of Grannie in adulthood and the opportunity to know a great lady.

Do you cherish your Grannie, Mom, Aunt, Sister or Friend?  Tell them you love them today.

"To Infinity & Beyond!"

These days, one can easily find my 31 month old son running around, shouting with gusto and conviction, "To infinity and beyond!".  I'm pretty sure he has no idea what it means, which makes it more comical and simultaneously love-able.

What exactly should we bring "to infinity and beyond"?  Is this simply a mathematical possibility, or can human beings affect infinity (never mind beyond it)?  To word it better, is there anything worth taking to infinity and beyond?!

I have not arrived at a satisfactory answer.  The questions, however, led me to think about what I would like my son to bring with him throughout his life (his limited infinity & beyond)?  Is it confidence to face life and its trials with self-assuredness?  Or, deep, unwavering conviction that he is wholly and unconditionally loved?  Perhaps, be the manifestation of a soul of an ever-patient and kind counsellor/friend/mentor?

To this, I am astonished at my greed.  I want all of these for my son, and more.  Happiness, peace, generosity, loyalty, and the many virtues we should aspire to.  Such is a mother's hope and prayer.

What is it you dare dream for your loved ones?

Dilemma

Defined as:

1. A situation that requires a choice between options that are or seem equally unfavorable or mutually exclusive.

2. Usage Problem A problem that seems to defy a satisfactory solution.

3. Logic An argument that presents two alternatives, each of which has the same consequence.

---

I have a dilemma.  Should I answer every accusation and possibly injure further?  Or, is silence golden to pave the path towards reconciliation and rebuilding of sharing, trust and love?

This time it is doubtful that either option is sure.  Shall I stand down to let the argument end?  Can I bear to suffer inwardly, and give up my chance to clear my name and state my intentions?

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
[1855 H. G. Bohn Hand-Book of Proverbs 514]

What then of the road to peace?

Emerging Emotions

My son loves to read.  Everyday, he asks to be read to.  Sometimes, it requires immense discipline to keep up with his desire to sit in our lap with a book.  It puts me to shame whenever I deny his request.  I make every effort to hone his love of reading time.

Today, as I was reading "The Velveteen Rabbit" to him, he began to get upset over the fact that the stuffed rabbit had to be destroyed after the boy's illness.  Somehow, even at age 2.5, my son understood that the rabbit was being separated from his owner.  My son, asked me lots of questions at that point and interrupted our reading. "Where is the boy, Mommy?". "Why is he on the floor in a bag out in the yard, Mommy?"

And then, he translated the rabbit's loss by looking for his own stuffed dog.  "I want Harrod, Mommy."  He got out of my lap and went to hug Harrod.  Then we returned to reading.  Of course, the book ended positively.  My son only needed to wait till the end of the book.

It amazed me that my son could understand/feel a deep emotion at such a young age.  As we all grow, emerging emotions change us.  I am touched that my son is a sensitive and loving little guy.  I am further encouraged to continue to invest into his heart, mind and being those things that are noble, kind and good.

What are you feeling today?

I Love You

My darling husband came home from work today and decided to mow the lawn, weed his garden and supervise our sweetheart son while I enjoyed a few moments of peace and quiet in an air conditioned room.  As if this kindness is not enough to say, "I love you" in more than words, he brought home some flowers from our garden and put them in a vase for me.

My heart is swelling with love.  My mind is happy.

Have you said, "I love you" in action today?

We had a wonderful beach day yesterday.  Our son took happy little steps as he walked into the water.  Just feet wet at first, soon he sat down and in no time, he was on his tummy, allowing the waves to roll over his head.  Magic in nature!  Even the playground could not keep him away from the call of the water.

I am thankful for the few hours at the beach with family.  Take your family and have fun at the beach!

A Good Mother

Rightly or wrongly, my first thoughts as a mother was that I was unworthy to don this title. "I am a bad mother" echoed in the dark halls of my mind when my son was born. What had I done? Who had I been? Where did I come from? How had I become immersed in such negative thoughts?

Some say it was the lack of Serotonin. Others claim it was hormonal fluctuation. Still others said it was the stresses I endured pre and during pregnancy. There were those who called for a return to God's embrace, suggesting I had become "the lost sheep". There were those who said I am being refined by the Refiner's Fire.

I care little about the what, who, where, when, or how. I only wanted to know if there were any truth to that statement. If so, how could I become a good mother?

"Salvation" came in flesh and blood form. Hand in hand, heart to heart, my husband and I suffered, cried, and wrestled together. He sheltered me from the accusations, denials, and sorrows. He became my hope. He pointed to the every sunrise and its promise of a brand, new day. He is my God-send.

I am a good mother. I can be a "good-er" mother. So can you.

One Day At A Time

My son is now 2.5 years old, and I still live by the old adage, "one day at a time". I can't remember who suggested this to me, but there are days when I cannot sort out where the start and end is. Postpartum depression is not something I chose as part and parcel of starting a family. I imagined bearing a child as one of life's happiest events.

Am I unhappy today? No, this is not true. Just last night, I sat in our living room with my husband and felt utterly contented. I had no wants and lacked nothing. I would choose to re-live that moment again. How about you?